I haven’t submitted anything for awhile. Not because I haven’t had stories to tell, I always have stories, but because I can’t seem to tell the stories without incriminating myself. I know I have freedom of speech, and really I am doing very little wrong since I never name names. I don’t fear for my students. People recall funny incidents about students all the time. I always thought I was going to write a book that would highlight all the humorous episodes I have faced in my teaching career. In fact, my hopes for this blog were just that. Somehow, unfortunately, my blog has turned into a rant about my principal. My life has turned my life into a rant about my principal.
The problem is the more I try to avoid this madness the more the infection spreads. It has spread into my teaching obviously. I over analyze every single word and phrase I say in class. In some ways it is good to always be looking for way to improve; it is just that the motivation is all wrong. I actually believe I try to improve regularly anyway. I guess I am self-motivated.
It has spread into my social and family life. My mind upon returning from work is not able to relax. My friends, educators and non, are tired of hearing my stories. Most of them seem too bizarre to even be believable. Of course, more bad days require me to restrain my anger even more for the other little things that happen in my life.
As this epidemic spreads, I feel reluctant to continue my blog as it is. I fear that if that I attempt to force these feelings about my boss out of my blog, I have to change my topic…channel my energy in a more positive way. I feel that it is time to take a new direction in my blog. I don’t want to continue to moan and groan about my boss. I may still revisit the topic of school. My students do surprise me still; I think I am just struggling so hard to be what someone, who I don’t respect or trust, wants me to be that I can’t seem to see all the beauty in teaching. She is quite literally strangling my love of teaching.
I have always wanted to be a teacher. I will always be a teacher. I want desperately to be a writer. I can do both without committing emotional suicide. I am just going to avoid my struggles with my boss for my own well-being. It will make me a better person or in infect me with the disease of all diseases. Either way I plan to break free of the hold she seems to have over my life.
Mishaps Today 
That was EXCELLENT! and exactly correct, as usual. She will emplode sometime (hopefully sooner than later). I have come to the same conclusion, after feeling EXACTLY like you do. If we feel badly, she wins, and that’s just not OK