The deed is done, but I didn’t get to do it like I wanted. He texted me one evening with kisses and cuddles, and I had to gather my courage. I told him that I wanted to talk to him and not text. I guess he didn’t like the idea of voices either because he insisted that texting was the same as talking.
I took all of the blame; really it is my fault because I am just not into him. It was hardly taking one for the team. I told him every excuse possible, like throwing darts and hoping one would stick. I am not so good at darts. Listing issues with past relationships, my own selfishness, and commitment problems, I tried it all, everything but me actually admitting that I didn’t think of him THAT way. I even said he deserved better, and his only response was why. I dished out some compliments for him, but he just kept trying to fix all the issues. Finally I felt like I completed the task.
As with any break up, I considered that maybe I didn’t try hard enough to make it work. I closed my eyes trying to think of my original complaints. All I could see was his huge lips and tongue flopping out of his mouth; a giant monster trying to slime me. After our words, I tucked myself into bed and heard yet another text. Questioning details of our conversation, I assumed it was someone else. Nope, he wanted to tell me that when I am ready he wants to “cuddle more and more and more.” I rolled my eyes and covered up. The pling of my phone goes again, he reminds me that he is also recently out of a bad relationship, and we could help each other. I turned off my phone.
The next morning, in the world of technology, I got online. He has sent me a message on my Facebook, luckily not on my wall but a private message. It says that after his night at the bar at 2 AM (a real gentleman HA!), he is thinking of me and wants to kiss me all over. This was my sign to turn up the mean; was I the only one part of the “conversation” last night? I replied that I don’t need the kissing right now that I am confused and not ready. I don’t hear back from him for a day or two. I am thinking that message must have hit home. Until I realized he has posted HIS NAME “wants to be spending his time with a certain blonde hair blued-eyed girl.” His friends had posted all kind of random responses to his post. My sister has even posted a witty “You want to hang out with me?” He has replied that she is taken and that won’t work. The final post was “Be careful what you wish for.” I so wanted to list my own response, but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction that I am reading his post. It would give him the wrong idea.
My job now is to avoid him, I guess. I have no other choice. Even without contact, he is still ever-present. I still think I did the right thing. My BFF tells me that if I really liked him I would like his “cuddling and kissing all over” comments. She is normally always right and knows me better than I know myself at times, but for now the comments just disgust me. I just need to be alone….without guys for now. I am not desperate. I do not need to date. My life is full, and I don’t have to go out with someone I don’t totally like just to have a free dinner. Better luck next time.
Mishaps Today 