My relationships are like a bad aftertaste that can span over years. Either I invest too many emotions in them or the other person does. D is done…officially. Five years of a love-hate relationship bookend by sex. String free sex does not exist, at least not with him. He wants to sow his oats all over town. I am confident it is over…for now. He may be someone who revisits every five years.
Simultaneously, Boz, from three summers ago, calls at least once every three months. (I think I can use his real nickname here; because sadly, he has a nickname.) Now I’ve mentioned him briefly before, but I didn’t admit to why I even consider him an option. He lives with his parents and is literally a farmhand at thirty-five. Still he is hung like a horse. Something that might require work for many men, he does not have to try at all, which is good because he would never be able to find the spot on his own. His mother spoiled him, but his father is probably hung, too. She is just delusional from multiple orgasms throughout her many years of marriage. I have always toyed with the idea of Boz, but once he is allowed in; he won’t leave. EVER. The list goes on and on with him.
Of course with my need for a change, I began to revaluate my relationship goals. Based on my lessons in life over the last five years, I have learned the terrible truth about being friends with men. Perhaps after a few more mistakes, I will realize that guys are only friends until they get into your pants. No matter how good of friends I thought I was with a man; they have proven to only be friends with alterative motives.
Second I learned, having a large penis is not everything….at least not for a long period of time. Being well endowed is like being blind…okay not really, but blind people are supposed to have better hearing. Having an enormous cock takes away from their brains. Boz reminded me of this when he sexted me about licking my kilt.
In addition, I learned that honesty is not essential in those early dates for men. Some guys will tell you anything. When Jared told me on our first date that he wasn’t seriously dating anyone; I should have questioned further. It was a little odd when our third date ended in me forcing him to admit the rumors of his engagement were true.
Furthermore, I broke a rule and actually dated a parent of a former student. I was head over heels in love and dumped after I left for a school trip to Washington DC. He married within the year. Another dating fluke included my perfect gentleman. Keegan called when he said, dropped flowers before our first date, opened car doors, paid for dinner, and was unemployed. Once he got a job, he breaks up with me because I did not seem interested since he did all the calling. In truth, I never had a chance to call; he always had the right timing. It was all good because as a gentleman, he was slow to go around the bases. All those manners apparently slow down the sex because after several dates, he stayed on first. Perhaps he was hoping for another batter to hit him in.
Which brings me to the purpose of this blog; relationships are based on what? Friendship? True Love? Multiple orgasms? I think the lowdown dirty truth is that I am going to have to start completely over. Pass on D; pass on the gigantic dick; pass on hidden girlfriends and fiancées. Start over when someone I don’t know at all. Start with first names and the whole shebang. And you, my blog, the people who do not actually know me, the people who may judge but do not speak, I promise to keep you in the loop. I promise to try to move out of my comfort zone to find some new sex. Now if only we could get guys with the big cock to wear a pin or something.
Mishaps Today 