Finally I got over D for the most part. I was ready to accept defeat and move on to save the friendship. After weeks of absence, D woke me one morning right after the start of the year. I was determined to show him how I could easily be myself and control my hormones. Plus I was wearing the ugliest leggings and an oversized pajama shirt. I hadn’t even brushed my hair.
Together we were actually able to hang out like normal people. Throughout the parade, we talked and laughed; never once did I act like that stupid girl from weeks before. Okay, honestly, I wasn’t as obsessive as that girl. I did take advantage of my tight leggings on occasion, but I really didn’t think I had any chance with my crooked glasses and make up residue. I almost commented on my near perfect behavior except mentioning it would negate the actual good behavior.
D attempted to leave on several occasions, or at least he seemed to be pacing. He finally sat down on the couch and told me that I would always turn him on. I nearly bit my tongue and directed his attention to my hairdo and wardrobe. He insisted that didn’t matter. Proudly, I went back to my life grading papers, determined to prove we could be friends.
Feeling pretty smug, I felt D’s hand on my shoulder, then he was rubbing both shoulders, wasn’t long before I was getting a full on back massage. A girl can only do so much. Kindly, I asked him to stop. He couldn’t resist questioning my lack of interest in a free backrub. It was all over from there. I explained to D how rubbing my back only made me wet. We were having sex again in minutes.
In conclusion, he insisted he owed me from holding out on me the last time. Well, I guess he didn’t really put out the time before, but I actually wasn’t keeping score. He left after hugging me about ten times and begging me not to freak out.
Maybe if he didn’t want me to freak out, he shouldn’t have seduced me with his backrub. Maybe we can’t be friends. Maybe we can’t hang out alone together; we need a chaperone. I am not sure I can say no. I am not sure he can refrain from asking, knowing that I can’t say no. It’s like a sure thing every time. Basically, again, even after months of trying to avoid it, I have become the other girl again. Damn it! Why can’t guys be faithful? Why can’t girlfriends and wives be less naggy and put out for their significant others?
I can see myself being pulled back into the exact type of relationship I wanted to avoid. Don’t I deserve a guy that I don’t have to share…even if he is a redneck with poor grammar?
Mishaps Today 