Well, hell! I guess I lost the battle. I played the game so well. For years I pushed D away, trying to get him to be more independent. When we dated in 2005, he was so clingy. He called all the time, even to just leave a message. Every night would have to involve us together. It killed me. Now our roles have completely reversed. I am not sure where I went wrong. I played hard to get. I refused until the near end to sleep with him while he was with his next girlfriend. I held off his advances week after week after week. Only to find myself here! What luck!
I am sure that playing the game was half my fault. Or it was that one night he fought to end his relationship, only to end up at my house to escape. It could have been me finally getting in the shower after he nearly ran my water cold until I agreed to join him. It could have been that next week, ironically last Halloween, where I assumed his relationship was still over, and he was angry and missing most of the evening.
Guys always want this string-free sex. That’s totally fine, but the only way to get me into bed is to shower me with attention and flirting through the evening. I am not completely easy. However, when D is done flirting and gets his way with me; he gets his 80’s jeans too tight. He stops flirting, and something that was acceptable to do when he was in flirt mode is not acceptable in his post-coital .
Truthfully I love proper string-free sex. In California, I had a couple good runs with it, mainly because I really have no interest in getting married or having children. In the Midwest, it’s different. Oddly enough, the men lie more. I would say that half of the guys I have dated are trying to sample their choices before dumping their current relationship. And honestly, I would rather be the girl they sampling than the poor girlfriend. Still, it’s crappy a guy in the Midwest acts first, and if a girl does not actually asks him point-blank if he’s in a relationship. Guys feel like that gives them a way out of their lie later.
Another problem with string-free sex in the Midwest is the inconsistency. D and I have created a pattern, or rather he has. I am not sure how it happened, but once I recognized the pattern, I knew I was losing the battle. It goes like this: I see D somewhere, at a store or a friend’s; and then three days later, he is trying to reach me to get some right then. Sadly, he hides with work and whatever for nearly three weeks before the pattern begins again. I think string-free sex should be at least once a week (although I prefer more).
The final issue with Midwest string-free sex is the secrets. In California it is perfectly acceptable to have a fuck buddy. They can be claimed, and although the relationship could end for any number of reasons, it is monogamous for the most part. I always knew that my regular fuck buddy was only calling me once a week or so. D is so secretive. Who knows what he is doing for three weeks?
Still, I wish life was again like a movie. That Justin Timberlake movie where he has string-free sex, and in their deal, they promise to not sleep with anyone else without making it known to the other. In today’s day and age, should people really be having sex with multiple people at once?
I guess what I am saying is that I have to get D to commit to at least these three conditions. As I reflect once again on the morning after, I wonder what the day will bring. There is a new Halloween party tonight, a year later. After his visit last night, after seeing him at my parent’s three days ago, I told him he better not be mean at the party. And sadly his response was, “Then don’t be so clingy.”
Oh, the world we live in…
Mishaps Today 